Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2000 00:30:47 EST From: Salatrel1@xxx.xxx Subject: Getting to know you..Vorik There was a Vulcan a human and a Bajoran lounging in their quarters on Voyager. .. Hey this sounds like the start of a joke!! Vorik is at his desk. To his right his Bajoran friend Tabor is seated. Vorik's mate Raven Zans, is seated on the sofa trying to read her book. NAME: Ensign Vorik cha'Dosik adun of Raven Zans SEX: Vorik: It is most surprising that they are asking this question. Tabor:( while reading over his shoulder) I believe they mean gender? Vorik: Ahhh, then male HOME: Nisus Colony is my legal residence. It is what is written on my Starfleet records. But at present I am stationed aboard the Starship Voyager. Assigned to cabin 234 deck 17. With my mate, Raven Zans and our daughter Le'Vaya HEIGHT: shorter than Tuvok and Spock. Sigh, but alas of average height amongst humans. EYES: Vorik: Raven? How would you characterize my eyes: limpid dark pools of smoldering intensity or bright and glittering with mirthful serenity? Tabor: put puppy dog eyes and see what they say. The Vulcan quirks a brow at this suggestion but the Bajoran urges him on. Tabor: go on put it in. Vorik: if you insist and the Vulcan reluctantly types in puppy dog eyes. HAIR: Shiny black, smooth and straight. Vorik feels his wife running her fingers though his hair, whispering suggestions in his ear. Raven: put in silky to the touch as well. Ruffles up nicely. Vorik: please Raven I am trying to write. No time for this. Raven:< Vorik> WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW? The Vulcan blinks three time in confusion. Voirk:Tv? Both the human and the Bajoran shrug. Tabor: no idea on that one. Raven:ooh I know. they must mean holodeck programs: Vorik: Perhaps...my favorite is the tropical paradise Raven: I always loved you in the shirt WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Raven: Who wrote these questions? Pass on that one.. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: The voyager newsletter. Quite informative. Then Raven whispers in his ear. Vorik:ahh yes the bathroom copy of Maxim very good articles. Raven: You do like the photos. Vorik: indeed. FAVOURITE SMELL: Vorik takes in a deep breath inhaling the scent of his Aduna. Vorik: the scent you have been wearing lately, my mate, has been most pleasant. he suggestively replies. Raven: That is diaper cream you silly!! WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: By feelings they must mean experiences. There have been so many. From being ripped from my twin brother to being rejected by B'Elanna then losing to her in battle. Believing that you had been lost. once again my Pon Farrs being the most witnessed event in federation history. One is worse than the others. BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: our reunion, raven and the birth of our daughter. Both were glorious experiences. Both provoked a most satisfactory sensation. Tabor: oh c'mon Vorik you were blubbering like a whale when Le'Vaya was born. Vorik: I was merely responding to my mate's uncontrollable emotional outburst. Tabor: yea right... THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Tabor: Off duty they mean. and the Bajoran leans over to type for Vorik. "my Bajoran friend opens up a can of whoop ass on me when we play Parisee squares" Vorik: now stop! Vorik pushes his friend's hands away from the key board. FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: Tabor: What is that one you play all the time Vorik? I love the music. Great vocals a thumbing beat. But you never told me the tittle. You only call it selection 12. Raven snickers then answers for Vorik. Raven: It is the sound track from Vulcan love slave. But do not tell anyone I told you. The Bajoran lets out a hearty laugh then zips his lips. Tabor: your secret is safe with me. And I thought I knew you Vorik!! WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? I know that I went to bed with my clothes on. how did I become uncovered? DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Raven:No..we know that you do all right on horses. Vorik: shh my mate.. ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING : Hmm Roller coasters... The human female taps her lips and snickers to herself. I wonder... PEN OR PENCIL? : Vorik: They are talking about writing implements? This is not a hidden sexual question? Tabor: No Vorik, no sex in that question ... HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? : Tabor: Well the other day it took 5 chirps on the door before you two answered. What were you doing anyway? Tabor teased. I heard selection number 12 and I swear that I heard someone holler giddy up FAVOURITE FOODS: Raven and Vorik answer in unison. Cookies. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? Yes, Raven kisses his cheek. I cannot wait to meet them when we return home. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? Vorik squirms in his seat. After the tongue lashing the Captain gave me after jury rigging the ship so I could transport down on the planet surface. I thought she was going to throw me into the brig that day. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Vorik glances over to his mate. Her brows quirked slightly in Vulcan imitation. He types in chocolate and she giggles remembering that time... CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Vorik thinks a moment and Tabor offers.. Taobor:.They mean in your salad not in your sex... Neither Vorik responds DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Raven is usually in the pilots seat but I did find satisfaction riding motorcycles through the deserts back on the colony with my brother. DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? Tabor: ahh c'mon Vorik be truthful on that one. I spied that cute little sock monkey on your bed. Grammie made that for you, didn't she? IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? A mouse for my padd IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? Raven: I think you would great lion. Growl and she nibbles on her Vulcan's neck. IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Tabor: Spock right, Vorik? I saw the poster up on your wall. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Romulan ale. The three snicker on that one. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Keshel. I was born in the year of the bird. On Nisus it is a symbol of purity and joy Tabor: Ahh that is so sweet. (hack) EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? No. I do not eat broccoli. it makes me flagellate. GUYS-IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO HER? Certainly...I would love a shirt stealing scene. I already did a Pon Farr stealing one... GIRLS-WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT? IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? actor..lololo IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? pink. Tabor: Why would you want your hair pink Vorik? Vorik: was just testing their attention level. IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? I do not desire a tattoo but I have been scarred in my human mate's tradition: her name and mine intertwined upon the small of my back. Tabor: Now THAT is love! HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Too personal. Vulcans do not speak of such matters. Raven types for him: I have experienced shon-ha -lok with my mate, Raven. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING. He looks to Tabor. Tabor: you had one remember? Or where your brains too frazzled to recall that wonderful gong THUNDERSTORMS: COOL OR SCARY? most invigorating! at home Taurik and I would peer out our window watching the lighting dance through the black night sky WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? A idic emblem, Spock poster, the other two snicker at that..and my family's photo..our family. Raven's hands squeezes his shoulder. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? The glass is but an illusion. Tabor: what? They are talking about your outlook on life Vorik. are you a pessimist or optimist? Vorik: I am Vulcan. I seek the logic in experiences and not allow person biases or emotions to cloud my perceptions. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? mango. Raven: really? You tried that replicator selection too? ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Unlike most Vulcans I am not ambidextrous. A lefty. Raven: Indeed you are! DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? No. Tabor looks at the curt answer: that is it? Vorik: yes.. IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? The rototiller? The human and Bajoran squint in confusion at that answer. Vorik:YOU will find out why later, my wife. Tabor: you mean plow? Tabor offers.. Vorik: ooh that is what it is called. I was confused. Then Vorik amends his answer..plow.. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? I would rather not answer that one. Raven:ooh you found it then? Raven asks then head to the bedroom to retrieve her lost oil flask .. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? tabor types in 69.. Tabor: this is fun I hope I get a questionerre too. Vorik: Then I am sure you will desire my assistance with yours? WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? I have never owned a car but my brother and I enjoyed our motorcycles. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? The delta flyer. Tabor: I did not know that Vulcans could envy? Vorik: it is not envy..merely..next question FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? At home I was very up to date one the ahh -whoons challenges. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU. Commander Tuvok is most logical. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT. I believe all will respond to it. this most engaging and enjoyable